Monday, June 11, 2007
It's Time To Let The World Know
So here's the deal. I am 33 years old. I am married to my soul mate. I have two beautiful twin girls. I have a great job, a perfect house, a loving family and lots of friends. It's pretty much the perfect life. I have every thing I could every want, except one very important thing, self-control; at least when it comes to food.
Here is the big reveal. I am 5'11 and as of this morning I weigh 280 pounds.
Well that's a weight off my chest. (Pun intended)
I have struggled with my weight ever since graduating from college, but over the last two years things have really gotten out of hand. While my wife was pregnant with our twin girls I sort of adopted her diet. A diet that was fine for a women who was eating for three, not so fine for someone eating for one.
The weight gain didn't end with the sympathy pregnancy weight though. During the first 4 months of being new parents we ate pretty much straight starch. And with no sleep and no exercise the pounds just kept piling on.
As of this past January I had reached 288 pounds. Suddenly I was starring down the barrel of 300 and it scarred the heck out of me.
So, last January I made a decision to change my lifestyle. I started watching what I was eating and a made a real effort at portion control. Things went great for a while. By mid March I had dropped down to 274 and was starting to feel better. And then I fell off the wagon. I couldn't tell you when or why. I think I had a busy week and so I hit McDonalds one day, and since I had already eaten McDonalds yesterday I might as well have an Ice Cream Sandwich and a candy bar with lunch today.
Before I knew it, I was back to my old eating habits... and worse.
Lately I have been noticing my clothes aren't fitting so well again and my back has been really sore and my feet have been killing me. My softball game, which was never great to begin with, has pretty much disappeared. And this weekend I found the final straw.
I spent Saturday at the community pool with my daughters. We live in a part of town where the community pool still attracts a lot of beautiful people. And as I sat there with my little girls looking around at all the slim housewives and good looking dads I had a vision of my 7 year girls being embarrassed to go swimming with Dad because of his big tummy and saggy swim suit.
So I made a new promise to myself to get in shape. The promise was full of resolve and I was convinced this was going to be the time. But then I started thinking to myself. How will this be any different than every other time that I have lost ten pounds only to gain 20 back three months later?
The answer hopefully is going to be accountability. In the past I have tried to hide my weight and my weight problems. Sure it's obvious just by looking at me that I am grossly overweight. But I have never admitted just how much I actually weigh. The number is simply too embarrassing.
Same with my diets. I love to tell people when I am doing good and losing weight. But I never talk about my failures or about the times I eat 5 king size candy bars in one day.
So that's what this blog is for. There is nothing original in the idea. Thousands of people have done the same thing.
In a moment I will press this little orange button that says publish and my secret will be out. Then I will hopefully have the courage to send an e-mail to all of you my friends and family with a link to this post. If I do it, it will be the first step in coming to real terms with my weight problem.
The plan is to use this space as a journal to keep track of what I am eating, how much I am exercising and what happens to my weight. I will weigh in every Fri. and post the results.
I have no clue if anyone will follow this blog or not. I am not looking for encouragement or advice, although those things are most assuredly welcome. My hope is that knowing someone could be watching my ups and downs will help to keep me honest about what I am eating and how I am living my life.
Here is my one request, if I stop blogging someone or everyone give me a little nudge to get my butt in gear and keep going.
And I promise, future posts will be a lot shorter.
6/11: 280 lbs.