So I figured out a problem with my mini binges this weekend......I mean besides the obvious ones like extreme excess calories, weight gain, food addiction, etc.
When I sneak food I always choose really crappy food, and because of it I end I up feeling guilty and unsatisfied.. instead of just guilty. It is the dumbest thing. I know addiction by it's very nature makes us do stupid things and the irrational cravings are just that, irrational...but really you think I could have enough self respect to choose delicious deserts instead of the overly processed sudo-foods I grab from the gas station. It's always the gas station!
I have been having a tough time getting over vacation mode. The end of last week was pretty much a wash on the healthy living front. I only worked out on Thursday and I snacked endlessly. The worst was Friday night. I stopped to get propane for the grill on the way home and somehow ended up with a gas station cookie and thing of zingers in my pocket.
My lovely wife happened to glance at the receipt and called me on my indiscretion. Some wives check for lipstick on the collar, mine checks for chocolate in my mustache.
The whole ugly episode got me thinking. Instead of giving in to these cravings for crappy junk food, I need to save up and treat myself every once and a while to some real treats. Things that are worth the guilt. A slice of pie from Bakers Square, a small Butterfinger blizzard, some deep fried Oreos at our deep fried food party that we planed while at that crazy restaurant on vacation.
Sneaking junk food simply perpetuates my addiction. If I can be open and honest with my treats, I can do away with the guilt and the tummy aches once and for all.
Today starts a new Standoff Week. I have ten pounds to lose and 4 weeks to lose it. Time to buckle down. Somehow I have a feeling it's going to be a tough week. My willpower is weak. I am hoping once my body remembers how good it feels to get off that treadmill that things will start to turn around.
Tony
04/07: 222 lbs
NEW GOAL: 208
14 lbs. to go