The Wife Weighs In...Week 9

Good morning, GHMIW fans!

All right…let’s get it over with. Get a cup of coffee…it’s going to be a long one.

I am bitter. Here’s the story:

As reported last week, I visited our local gym/club/den of Satan for a tour of the facilities. After some general waffling (mmm…waffles) I went back Saturday morning to enroll/enlist/sign away a little piece of my soul. I avoided signing up for any extra programs, which was a big success for me. At that point, we set up an appointment for the first of two complimentary consultations with a personal trainer.

Sunday morning at 8:45, I left for the gym. I was bright and shiny, excited about the first day of the rest of my life, excited about the prospect of my new lifestyle, excited about the new body I was going to earn. I was like a little girl on her first day of school (maybe it was the pigtails). At 9:00, I sat down in front of a rather large 27-year old with a shaved head. I’ll call him "Jason" (‘cause that’s his name).

I told "Jason" that I had lost 35 pounds and that I had about 50 to go. I also told him that my ultimate goal is being able to wear more body-conscious clothing (okay, let's be honest...I told him I would like to have a body that could pull off slutty clothes if I so chose) and, while I am excited to reap the health benefits of exercise, my main motivation is pure vanity. He liked my honesty. I thought we were off to a good start.

This was an assessment session, so I got on the treadmill, did some (very few) push-ups, and some stretching. I also had my body fat measured. Let me say that I was not shocked when I found out that the results were not glowing. I haven’t exercised on a regular basis in over 10 years. It wasn’t an earth-shattering realization that I am not the picture of fitness. I know that I am a "before" (or possibly an "a little while later")…I was there because I want to be an "after."

Over the next 20 to 30 minutes, Jason told me (among other things) that my eating was "for sh*t," rolled his eyes when I mentioned Weight Watchers, and scoffed at my mention of a yoga class by telling me it was "really only glorified stretching." What was most annoying was that he really didn’t listen to anything I had to say. He would ask me a question, then start rolling his eyes and shaking his head before I’d even completed my answer, all the while watching what was going on in the rest of the gym instead of focusing on me and our conversation.

In that short amount of time, I went from being an intelligent, sassy, strong, confident woman who had made positive and successful changes in her life to being a stupid, lazy "fat chick" who had achieved nothing and had no idea what she was talking about. And, for a brief moment, he succeeded at making me see myself through his eyes.

We made an appointment for 8:00 Monday night. I met my neighbor Ali for yoga at 7:00…definitely not just glorified stretching. I loved it. By the time I sat down in front of Jason once again I had some sore muscles, but I had shaken off the negative stuff from the day before and was ready to get to work. It didn’t go well. The workout was tough (which I was fine with), but I didn’t have his full attention and he wasn’t supportive. I had hoped for an experience where I felt like I had a partner in the fight, but he was all about negative motivation. I felt as though he was trying to motivate me by making me feel bad about myself, like he was punishing me for being out of shape, instead of wanting to help me achieve something. It was really yucky.

When I told him that I couldn’t afford the more than $500 a month to work with him, he completely wrote me off. Obviously, my priorities weren’t in the right place and my goals weren't really all that important to me. When I asked him about planning a session every three months or so, in order to assess my progress and change up my program, his response was, "Well, I guess it would be better than nothing."

I left the gym feeling kind of embarrassed, kind of ashamed, and kind of like I should ask for my money back. All this from a gym whose sell line is… wait for it… FEEL GOOD INSIDE.

I went back Tuesday morning at 6:30 (very sore) for 45 minutes on the treadmill, and felt better. I went back Wednesday morning at 6:30 (still quite sore) for an hour on the treadmill, and felt even better. I decided to take sort of a "to hell with him" attitude about the whole thing and use it as additional motivation for my success. I went back to the gym on Thursday morning at 6:00 for cardio warm-up, strength training, and an additional 30 minutes on the treadmill, and felt pretty darn fantastic. My attitude about the club has turned around (okay, it's not really a "den of Satan"). I even ran into an acquaintance who works out early every morning...she was positive, supportive, and glad to see me.

This week marks some major successes. Joining a gym, overcoming the scourge that is "Jason" (who totally didn’t even have the decency to say "hello" when I greeted him with a cheery and smiling "good morning" on Wednesday...jerk), getting to the gym at an ungodly hour three days in a row, and finding out that I think am really going to enjoy this exercise thing. Hurray for me!

So, why am I so bitter? I gained 1.4 pounds.

This leaves me with 5 weeks to lose 8.8 pounds, including Thanksgiving. Therefore, I am readjusting my goal. My new goal is to reach 182 pounds by February 1. 182 pounds will move me from being obese to simply overweight…and won’t that be a happy thing?

Have a great weekend, all…and a happy Thanksgiving! No weigh-in for me next Friday, unless I decide to find a WW meeting in Davenport, Iowa. I know it’s a possibility, but is my actually making it there really all that likely?

Laura

11/09/2007: 192.4 pounds
11/09/2007: 193.8 pounds (a gain of 1.4 pounds)
Total loss: 34.6 pounds

New mini-goal: 182 pounds by February 1
11 weeks and 11.8 pounds to go!

P.S. Thanks to Angela for being so supportive about my wanting to give in to evil foods last week. I also had a lot of support from other friends and family (thanks, too!), who congratulated me for not giving in to my cravings. After reading that, I thought to myself, "The word 'cravings' seems a little off the mark. It’s not really about just wanting to enjoy some French fries…in fact, it’s not even really about the food at all." DING! What an epiphany.

P.P.S. I wonder how it’s going to be before Tony tells me to get my own darn blog and stop trying to take his over.

The Wife Weighs In...Week 8

Good morning, weight loss fans!

I had a surprisingly good week this week. You know, one of those weeks where you don't think you did all that well but are pleasantly surprised when you step on the scale?

Despite a good loss, I felt as though I was dangerously close to veering way off-path. I didn't have a binge or anything like that, but I felt that familiar exhaustion creeping up on me...that feeling of just being overwhelmed. I was overhelmed by a couple of big projects at work, by my outside commitments, and by the things I know I need to do at home. My greatest desire this week was to take solace in foods I know I shouldn't be eating, foods I haven't eaten in months...cookies, chips, french fries...anything sweet, salty, greasy, or full of fat would have done the trick.

This was not a desire for a quick splurge, which is something I can handle. This was something much bigger and much deeper. Fortunately, I was able to rein things in, but it was a very scary feeling. It was a huge reminder that in order for me to reach my goal and keep the weight off, I am going to have to ever-vigilant. For me, heading off-track can happen in the blink of an eye.

On a positive note, I am pleased that I was able to identify that feeling and keep myself from taking the first step down the slippery slope. I had an 8th straight week of loss, and shaved another point off my BMI...down to 31.

As an additional success, I actually visited the local gym and got the tour. I plan to call later today to schedule a time to register. This is a HUGE step! So, by next week, I should be a woman with a gym membership and at least a few workouts under my belt. Wish me luck!

Have a fantastic weekend!

Laura

11/02/2007: 194.6 pounds
11/09/2007: 192.4 pounds (a loss of 2.2 pounds)

Total loss: 36 pounds
Next mini-goal: 185 pounds by December 21

6 weeks and 7.4 pounds to go!

The Wife Weighs In...Week 7

Good morning, weight loss fans!

I bit the bullet this week and retired my fall weigh-in outfit. I had been weighing in wearing a lightweight skirt and a tank top, but it's getting too darn cold for that! So, this week, I weighed in wearing jeans and a sweater (my winter uniform), an outfit I know weighs about 3 pounds.

Isn't it amazing what kind of games we play with the scale?

I figured I was safe because my first morning weigh-in would have set me up for a loss of almost 4 pounds. It remains to be seen how much of that loss has to do with the afore-mentioned possible stomach bug.

So, my loss was small this week, but that is perfectly okay with me. This week marks 7 straight weeks of loss. In addition, I didn't eat any of the girls' Halloween candy or any of our trick-or-treating leftovers. The even bigger success is that I'm not even interested. It doesn't even sound good to me...not even the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, which are my all-time favorite. That's a step forward.

So close to that next 5-pound marker!

One final note...because this has been consistent thread throughout my posts...no exercise yet again this week...unless you count trick-or-treating (which I really can't). This is my ongoing challenge and an obstacle that I need to conquer in order to get to the place I want to be. And, that's all I have to say about that.

Have a fantastic week, everyone!

Laura

10/26/2007: 195.4 pounds

11/02/2007: 194.6 pounds (a loss of 0.8 pounds)
Total loss: 33.8 pounds

Next mini-goal: 185 pounds by December 21
7 weeks and 9.6 pounds to go!

If Only I Hadn't Worn Those Jeans!

This was a big week for me. For the first time in about seven years, the prospect of weighing less than 200 pounds was just outside my reach. Boy, there is nothing like having a major milestone within view to really kick a gal into gear! Consequently, I was very focused this week. Besides the apple turnover at the orchard last Saturday (which was TOTALLY worth it), I really kept a tight rein on my eating.

An even bigger accomplishment for me (one that I am extremely proud of) was my increased level of exercise. Exercise has always been the biggest roadblock on my weight loss journey, but I really challenged myself to simply “move more” this week. Since Sunday, I have succeeded in completing two 2-mile walks, about an hour of strength training exercises, and a one-hour hip-hip dance workout that I TiVo’d from FitTV. For some of you that may not seem like much, but for me, it was a major achievement.

As an aside, the hip-hop dance workout gave me one of my biggest laughs of the week. I have 10 years of training in tap, ballet, and jazz, and have been a musical theater choreographer for over 15 years.

Here's the deal: I could not keep up with these people…I couldn’t learn the moves!

As I was attempting to follow the dancers in this video with their gyrations, shimmying, and booty shaking, I realized I was doing all this (attempted) dancing right next to the large windows at the front of our house. When I imagined what kind of idiot I must have looked like to anyone passing by on the street, I started to laugh. When I looked out the window, I half expected to see someone looking back at me, shocked and horrified by the sight of my not-so-sweet dance moves. With the amount of time I spent laughing, I’m sure I got a good ab workout. I’m hoping the hip-hop will go a little better the next time around.

So, back to the point of the post. At this morning’s weigh-in, I missed the big milestone by an excruciatingly small two-tenths of a pound. An amount so small that if I had chosen to wear a skirt instead of jeans I would have hit it. (arrgh!)

On a positive note, I dropped a BMI point this week! In addition, I now have two milestones within reach. The journey continues…

Have a good weekend!
Laura

Weekly update:
09/21/2007: 202.0 pounds
09/28/2007: 200.2 pounds (a loss of 1.8 this week)
Total loss: 28.2 pounds
Mini-goal #1: 199.9 by 10/15/2007; 0.3 pounds to go
Mini-goal #2: 30 pounds lost; 1.8 pounds to go
(again, wouldn’t it be sweet to do it in one week?)

Check, check. Umm...hello...is this thing on?

So, Tony has asked me, the afore mentioned “lovely wife,” to become an actual contributor to his blog. For those of you who don’t know me, I tend to be a bit verbose, so I know this post is going to be long. My intent is not to take over my darling husband’s piece of the blogosphere, but I felt a little background info was in order.

I have lost and won countless battles in this seemingly never-ending war with the scale. When I was pregnant with twins, I was encouraged to eat (A LOT) because I was losing weight. I lost 15 pounds over the course of my pregnancy, before giving birth. It was fantastic! McDonald’s double cheeseburgers and milkshakes were finally an approved part of my diet and my nightly bowl of ice cream was practically prescribed.

Mid-March, when the girls were about 14 months old, I was the heaviest I had ever been and was staring down the barrel of my 35th birthday. I decided it was time to make a change.

I decided I didn’t want my two beautiful little girls to have to struggle with their weight and body image the same way I have throughout my life. I decided that I needed to lose weight in order to keep up with them and to be around for the long haul. I also decided I was sick and tired of having to shop the plus-sized clothing racks.

I joined Weight Watchers (WW) on March 9, 2007. I lost a few pounds here, gained a couple there, and would only show up at meetings once every three weeks or so. I lost a total of 11.8 pounds, but I was having a lot of trouble staying on track. Then Tony made his grand announcement to the world and got serious about his own weight loss. His unflagging discipline has been fantastic motivation for me.

I will admit, his streak of amazing losses has had me jealous some weeks (and occasionally downright bitter), but I'm very happy for him and just have to remind myself that men lose weight much differently than women do.

We have become comrades in the trenches in this war against the scale and it’s amazing how much easier it is to keep fighting when you’ve got someone fighting by your side. In my mind, this is the final battle and I am going to keep fighting until I win. If it means that I have to go to a WW meeting every Friday morning at 7:30 for the rest of my life, so be it. It’s worth it, and so am I.

So, in the spirit of Guess How Much I Weigh, I think it’s only fair that I provide full disclosure, too. When I stepped on the scale at my first WW meeting, I weighed (gulp!) 228.4 pounds. That’s a number I don’t ever want to see again.

Thanks to Tony for asking me to “weigh-in” with him every week. I will try to keep my posts shorter from here on out. My weekly update is below.

Have a fantastic weekend!
Laura (a.k.a., Elle Tee Jay)

03/09/2007: 228.6 pounds
09/21/2007: 202.0 pounds (a loss of 0.8 this week)
Total loss: 26.4 pounds
Next mini-goal: 199.9 by 10/15/2007; 2.1 pounds to go
(wouldn’t it be sweet to do it in one week?)